I watched him….as he lie on the street the power line still crackling in the distance and the buildings around for blocks darkened by the damage.
His eyes were already open, but they were lifeless. His arm twitching as the emt did his best to jump start his heart.
He died…his wife broken and watching.
I don’t know what to say…
..and I want to cry for this stranger who’s life ended before me
I am sorry for his wife…
I hate that people gathered and watched it like a show
like it was something interesting to gossip later
I know that no one will whisper a prayer
they will only talk about how they watched someone die.
My heart, my soul goes out to them
I’m sorry it happened
…I’m sorry it happened in a public place
I’m sorry that not even I know his name to light a candle and whisper a word of prayer to what ever god may be listening.
My energy goes out to them…that is all I can do now.
I made this post about me…but at the end say something for them please.
Even a good thought sent to a faceless stranger…
I close my eyes and I start to paint inside my mind…breathing slows…heart rate as well…my world is black…nothing. I smell, of wood and pine needle…of fresh dirt and of flower. I see the undergrowth first, the shrubs and smaller tress that grow where animals dare not tread. I see the game trails as they wind through the small section where I stand…i hear the birds as they sing and weave though the ancient sentinels that raise slowly from the earth and reach towards the heavens. This is a scene I see the most when I close my eyes and pain…but I’m not done.
I decide to walk…the earth is soft under bare feet. The sun warms my face every now and again when it breaks the canopy. I have to walk only a little bit when I come to a clearing, grass soft as velvet caresses my shins as I enter, I smile as I can see the clouds drift in their lazy way across the sky. Hundreds of wild flowers greet me with the most intoxicating perfume of perfection, and for a moment I just bask in the warmth of light and scent…bliss.
In the middle of this meadow there was a single rock that rose out of the ground only a few feet…I walk to it and sit, its surface already warmed by the sun. A playful breeze dances over my exposed skin as I cross my legs. For a moment I enjoy the peace here…for a moment I smile.
But as always this scene fades…but still I smile. Is this my current state…or my desire? I never know, but that is a place I have been to many times. Perhaps it is the picture of my soul…and I’m not as dark as I pretend to be.
There are times when we want to break, let our hears and souls shatter into a million pieces…when we want to end it. There are times when we think the weight of the world is a burden we have to bare alone….no one can do that.
I do not know who I write this for
Me more than likely
I want to stop
…I want off this planet
I hate what is happening in my life
I hate where its going
and I want to quit
But I won’t, not ever
I will not stop living life just because its getting hard, no matter how better the world is without me.
…but gods I wish i could.
He stands looking upon the gates of hell
they took her from him…
His armor is battered, his blade chipped and his shield all but gone
..they took her FROM HIM!
The fight has been long and hard…
a trail paved with the bodies of those who stood against him
With a sneer that seemed to be carved into his feature he descends
…he will get her back…
The demons howl the alarm, but it did no good
Thick blood filled their throats as they died…but the alarm was sounded
Hundreds swarmed the gates…he did not care, his sword thirsted for their blood, hungered for their lives..
..HE WILL GET HER BACK!….
He roared as he fought, cleaving flesh as if it was nothing
“I will get her back…!”
He howled among the bodies that piled up at his feet
“YOU WILL NOT KEEP HER!”
His fury was unmatched
nothing like him existed
no one had ever done this
…no one had ever gotten this far
Not for a single soul…
“SHE IS MINE!”
He roared in the voice that made the very gates tremble
…sometimes a love is pure
But the souls that feel that love aren’t
…they are dark
This dark hidden love
is far harder to find in this world
twisted soul mates
And one cannot live without the other
“I WILL TAKE HER FROM YOU!”
He screamed his challenge to what ever dark soul ruled Hell
The bodies piled up
but the demons kept coming
But he wouldn’t stop
They couldn’t match the fire that burned in his dark heart
Some started to run
Fearing him more than their lord
“I will bring down all of hell…no soul will stay here. I will destroy the very world we were born into if she is not returned to me..”
The Lord of hell amassed his armies
he hide behind the walls of flesh
…and he felt fear
You ask me what I am…
You yell at me for not being a man because I won’t strike
You call me coward
Why do you get so angry when I smile at that?
You will not break me with words.
You are right I am not a man
easy to anger.
I am more than that
I am stronger than you are…will be
So when I smile at you when you punch me and I get up
Its because you are just a man
and I am an ogre
And when it comes time to show you my strength
I will walk away from your shattered will
and your broken body.
(no clue why I wrote this…just felt the need)
…There is hate burning in my heart
I will not hide it any longer
I want to go though with a chainsaw
…make him pay
She doesn’t deserve his pain
She is…’in love’
Love is not enduring pain
Love allows you to get through the pain
…I am a hypocrite
To punish him
Its not out of the lovers love
but that of a friend
I want to do so much
…but I can do nothing
Just watch as Rome collapses
I hate it